Date a Woman Who Travels (Or Don’t)

Last year, a viral post spread like wildfire across the internet encouraging others not to date a woman who travels. The post, aptly titled Don’t Date a Girl Who Travels, insinuated that all women who have a love of exploration are aimless, selfish and unstable. While I was able to relate to some of the material, I found the post to be somewhat narrow-minded and bothersome.

“Don’t date a girl who travels. She is hard to please. The usual dinner-movie date at the mall will suck the life out of her. Her soul craves for new experiences and adventures. She will be unimpressed with your new car and your expensive watch. She would rather climb a rock or jump out of an airplane than hear you brag about it.”

Of course people across the globe can relate to this. Not many people want to date a pretentious douche bag. However, having a desire to disengage with materialistic aspects of society does not make one an elusive vagabond.

The writer continues to point out that women who travel extensively find difficulties holding down steady jobs, aren’t capable of making a good impression on family or friends and are easily bored with familiar and regular conversation.

Having this sort of closed-minded attitude about taking pride in having a disconnect from the real world is dangerous. Of course not everyone has to be in a relationship to enjoy their time abroad – in fact, many would argue that it’s better to travel solo than have to feel tied down to a relationship. Either option is totally fine – live and let live!

… You Could Date a Woman Who Travels

While I find the majority of the writer’s points to be absolutely disconcerting, what bothers me most about this post is the concluding sentence:

“And if you unintentionally fall in love with one, don’t you dare keep her. Let her go.”

I get it. The post is meant to be inspiring and whimsical – satirical even. The writer’s intention is to give the idea that all women who like to see the world are wildly charismatic drifters, unsure of what’s next. Sure, I can relate to this wholeheartedly (my blog name says it all!), but I also feel it’s extremely important to give women credit for being courageous, strong and bad ass – whether they’re traversing life independently or in a partnership.

Date a woman who travels - or don't. It's up to you!

Date a woman who travels – or don’t. It’s up to you!

… But You Don’t Have to Date a Woman Who Travels

Regardless of relationship status,  I feel it’s our duty as women to empower one another. Whether or not the writer’s post is satirical or written from her heart, I find it to be misrepresentative and misleading. Instead of doting on the fact that women who travel are irresponsible, wild and erratic, let’s discuss the fact that they’re often socially and financially-conscious, open minded, adaptable and most importantly – unique.

I’ve met women on the road who are outgoing, but I’ve also met some who preferred to keep to themselves. I’ve met ones who prefer to stay out all night partying, but I’ve also met ones who like to wake up early to explore every nook and cranny of a city. The list could go on and on, but the point is that we’re all different. To assume that all women’s ideals or lifestyles are aligned with the one described in the original article – or its rebuttal – is something that I have difficulty wrapping my head around.

In a time when women are traveling more often than ever before – be it in a relationship or single – let’s be supportive. Date a woman who travels. Or don’t. Follow your heart, be good to one another and hold enough trust in the universe that what (or who) is meant to enter your life will find the way.

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22 Comments

  1. August 25, 2015 / 6:59 am

    Laura, thank you for sharing this post and your thoughts!
    I understand every single point you mention here.
    It was so hard for me to start a relationship because I had travel all the time and I couldn’t find the right man who’d accept it and join me.
    Then I found a man, fell in love, got married and he wasn’t the one who’d be wanting to travel as much as I did. He had his own idea of what traveling was, he was all about making money and working hard. So we didn’t. And you know what? Desire to travel is contagious, after 2 years I convinced him to go to India, he enjoyed and yesterday we bought ticket to Philippines to spend 3 months of winter there!

  2. August 25, 2015 / 1:00 pm

    I absolutely agree with you! I hate when people try and pigeon hole or stereotype people. There are many types of ‘travellers’. I LOVE to travel but I also LOVE being at home with friends and family!
    I remember reading that article at the time and being frustrated by it!

  3. August 25, 2015 / 6:08 pm

    I feel that God has a right person for each of us. Just trust in Him. He will provide. Really great points too. Women who travel should not be lumped together.

  4. August 25, 2015 / 9:11 pm

    I love it! It’s been while since I’ve been on any big trips and have been pretty grounded at home but I defiantly understand where both sides are coming from. Maybe it’s just me and being afraid of doing long distance but I feel like if it’s the right person they will understand and either wait or join you. We all have our “prince” charming out there, problem is just finding him.

  5. August 26, 2015 / 10:05 am

    It’s obvious that article actually hides a personal story… I don’t agree with the most parts of it.. maybe just with ‘Don’t date a girl who travels because she will bug you to book a flight every time there’s an airline seat sale. ‘ ihihihh what’s wrong with that?

  6. August 26, 2015 / 2:12 pm

    Yeah, that’s the problem with any of those articles that paint with a broad brush– they forget that in any group or classification, there is a huge range. People who travel may have overlapping lifestyles with each other, but for every traveler, there is a different way to travel. And why not be a couple who travels? Why do relationships automatically require the house/car/2.5 kids settling down? They don’t.

  7. August 26, 2015 / 4:35 pm

    Didn’t like that article either, I completely agree with you! We are fantastic;-) Oh wait did that sound to selfish? Maybe the article was right after all haha;-) No just kiddin’, great article!

  8. August 26, 2015 / 5:25 pm

    Love this article. It really got me thinking. I guess the problems with the article are (as most of the times) generalizations, but I really like your view on it. There are probably pros and cons to dating traveling women, just as there are pros and cons to dating any other woman in the world. The important part is to support each other and let each other be 🙂

    x, Juliet
    PS: I found you via the Facebook Group “Blogging Boost” where I asked for fellow travel bloggers. Let’s stay in touch 😉

  9. August 27, 2015 / 10:11 am

    I love this…. SO…. MUCH. You hit the nail on the head. I’m glad you recognize that the post is probably satirical, but I think it is tasteless satire just acting as click bait. The amount of times women are put down or scared out of traveling (solo or not) is enough of a burden to bear, to then have our lifestyles challenged. It’s honestly like women can do nothing right. Even if I didn’t travel, I wouldn’t give a shit about your expensive car or watch!

    Thanks for this post. Your writing is so eloquent!

  10. August 27, 2015 / 6:04 pm

    Holy moly FINALLY someone has said it! I hate those kind of posts. Don’t date a girl who travels, date a girl who travels – MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, I say! I can live my life however I want, travel, stay still, hold a job or be a bum as long as it is within the law and I am not hurting other people. Who cares? I do hate these trends in posts and you nicely pinpointed how pointless they are. In fact, I think you should pitch to some big publishers to get your word out 😉

  11. August 28, 2015 / 9:22 pm

    I remember skimming over that article some time last spring and throwing it away for basically the reasons you point out here. At that time I did some quick googling and saw there was plenty of stuff on the web to the effect of ‘don’t date a “traveler”‘ (which, as most non-gendered nouns, is treated as masculine by default, since male is the obvious default state of humanity), but then that little gem came along and was maybe just a bit too critical of traveling ladies.

    I reread that original article and I found as many of those character observations about being erratic and flakey apply to me (a ‘traveler’/man who travels) just as much but people would normally label me ‘adventurous’ or ‘fun-loving’ or some other positive phrase.

    So thanks for pointing out here that there’s nothing wrong with the X chromosome busting out of the kitchen and into the world. Keep doing you and find some cool guy out there to date (or not) while you’re at it!

    • lauranalin88@gmail.com
      August 31, 2015 / 5:21 am

      Thanks for your response! I met my boyfriend abroad and feel very fortunate to have done so. I just think women need to empower one another – being in a relationship shouldn’t define us. The writer of that post thought women who travel can’t also have some sort of sense of independence or stability, which I just found so strange to even suggest. At any rate, men and women alike should be able to do whatever we please. Safe travels!

  12. August 30, 2015 / 1:37 pm

    Dating a woman who travels is the best thing that can happen to anyone! We’re open-minded, adventurous, brave and eager to learn and do new things! Sounds like a pretty exciting relationship to me!

  13. August 31, 2015 / 5:08 am

    I also read that post when it went viral and also didn’t agree with similar parts of it. I feel like dating someone who travels is interesting and can lead to a more adventurous relationship. Also why would anyone think we would find movies boring? As much as I love traveling I equally love a movie date night!

  14. August 31, 2015 / 2:25 pm

    Thanks for sharing Laura. There are certainly great points on both sides. It depends on the individuals and how they make their relationships work. There are some beautiful, fascinating, and strong women who travel. And, that doesn’t mean they will never want to settle down or have a different life, or meet someone to travel with.

    • lauranalin88@gmail.com
      August 31, 2015 / 11:08 pm

      Totally agree! I would like to think I am one of those women. I met my boyfriend abroad and I think there’s nothing wrong with that. I think the post was just too narrow-minded for my liking.

  15. August 31, 2015 / 2:43 pm

    Great post! Love that you addressed this topic! Women who travel are the best!

  16. August 31, 2015 / 2:54 pm

    What a great response to the original article! While much of what it originally states may be true, they failed to see that some of these characteristics could be attractive in a companion! People can’t fathom that which they don’t attempt to understand, and a piece like yours was needed as a counterbalance in favor of travel.

  17. September 1, 2015 / 12:44 am

    I feel like everybody should travel. It’s the best way to learn about other cultures and be more open minded. I dated guys when I was in my twenties traveling around Europe. I’ve traveled to China with my husband when I was married. Travel as much as you can, and date someone who appreciates the blessing it is!

    • lauranalin88@gmail.com
      September 1, 2015 / 2:47 am

      Agreed! I met my boyfriend abroad and our love of adventure is what keeps us on the road as well as helps us understand one another. However, the point of this post is not to proclaim how amazing it is to travel. The point of this article is to support everyone no matter what their decision is. There’s no right or wrong – we’re all different!

  18. September 1, 2015 / 10:17 am

    At first when I was reading about this article here I was getting upset, wondering if this was written by an insecure man threatened by independent females, but after clicking the link, it’s clear that this piece written by a women is not really meant to be gender specific but just highlight how once you set out on your own and travel the world, it’s so hard to adjust back to normal life. There was another article posted like this on buzzfeed (I think?) about how traveling or living abroad in your 20s will ruin your life basically because it exposes you to so much more and will keep you wanting to reach for new and interesting things.

    Rae | Love from Berlin

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